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Temporarily speechless now, Maurice Wooton was mouthing like a great purple bull frog. 'This is Maud O'Hara. All sides behaved with dignity. 'Indeed, Lord Baddingham,' said the PM in her low voice.

As he sauntered into the kitchen, blithe as a skylark, as though there'd been no row at all, Cameron frantically stirred the french dressing. Exactly on cue, Maud wandered in, looking radiant. 'Looking down, Cameron saw she had squeezed her yoghurt so hard that it had spurted all over the table. 'That was delicious,' she said taking another piece of bread to wipe up the last vestiges of prawn sauce.

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